I was arguing with my Dad, trying to enlighten him on an insignificant subject. At 14, I obviously knew more than he did, and there was no way I was gonna back down. How humiliating would that be? After another grinding one liner thrown at him, my Father looked me in the eye and said "Yeah, Char, I know- you always gotta be right", and then he walked away.
I felt my eyebrows lower into a scowl of annoyance. Whatever! I did not always have to be right. If someone else was right- that was just fine by me.
But as the days passed, I noticed in myself a tendency to fight for whatever I believed was right. Not just issues like murder or creationism, but things like what time the school bell actually rang; 8:15, or 8:17.
How stupid was I? Who cared? Were my friends going to abandon me if I was wrong about something? As I watched my life and attitude unfold before me with new eyes, I realized that these friends were incredible to stick with someone who insisted that she was right at everyone else's expense. They would back down to avoid a fight, and simply 'let' me win. Wow.
A new life began for me that day. Enlightened, I began to stop insisting, to conciously test the theory that I could be wrong, even when I 'knew' I was right, and see what happened.
And life became good. I learned things I didn't know, and I was spared the horror of having to be proved wrong and still fight to the death about things that didn't matter anyway.
When I was right about something, and had let it go, it would often come back with a friend who would simply tell me 'Oh yeah, Char, remember we talked about ______?' Well, it turns out you were right." :)
Thanks, Dad.
3 comments:
I was about 23 or so when I learned this lesson. it was a tough one. "Do I always have to be right?" It was with another strong headed person that HAD to be right. So, it always ended up being a huge argument that left both of us angry. Anyway, when I realized I could be right, and the other person wrong, I could be happy knowing in my mind that I was. I didn't need that person to ACKNOWLEDGE to me that I was right. But, you and I are much better people to know when you can leave it alone. I think they call it maturity.
Love you.
CR (Fox Vegas)
I love you back my friend. And I miss you like crazy.
I love the updated look of your blog site, Char! The black silhoute (spelling?) of the family of 6 at the bottom is awesome - along with your personalized signature (?) after your entries. Good job :o)
I'll end off by saying I am SO excited to see the pictures you have for me! Thanks again for getting together with us today :o) It's definitely time to hang a new family picture in our dining room. The current one is of Bob and I with Jaida when she was 5 or 6 months old. We are SO behind!
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