So I started this cake hobby. I'd always seen the fondant cakes and loved the smooth look. My goal was to make Avery a fondant cake for her birthday in September of last year- and I did.
I think I've made an average of one a month, and a couple of times, I've been asked to make them for my friends' special occasions.
Need I say that this stresses me out?
I could say no, of course, but what an honor to be asked. It's just that suddenly there is all this 'expectation'.
For my family, I could show up with a bowl of mashed cake and a mascara stained face, and all would be fine.
Somehow I can't see doing that for a birthday party or a wedding!!
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SOOO... I was asked to make a cake for an amazing couple. They were renewing thier vows and asked me to make the 'wedding' cake. Wow.
I decided to keep it simple and not to stress. My friend is such an encourager and left it all in my hands, no expectations to live up to. (From her.) - and yes, that's the catch.
For hours I prevailed, 'enjoying' the creative process, taking my time, and going with the flow.
Until the road block. I made some impressions on the fondant that I DID NOT like. AT ALL.
I couldn't smooth them out, I couldn't take the fondant off again, and I couldn't cover over it. Believe me I tried.
When Emma saw my emotional decline, she said "I think it looks pretty, mom". To which I replied "Emma- you're 8! It doesn't really matter what you think." (If I could take that moment back, I would. All those Bible verses about your tongue and the damage it can do? They're right on the money. Of course I apologized, and I thanked her for loving me with her kind words, but that was most certainly a 'bad mom award' moment. )
I took myself upstairs for a time out because I needed to cry and didn't want to swear in front of my kids. (Okay so any readers who thought I was perfect have now had a large dose of the real me thrown at them, I apologize for the shock).
As I cried on the bed, I had a little talk with my Creator. It went like this...
Me: Why aren't you helping me?
Me again: Not that I deserve it. I'm SO mad right now.
Me: You said I could do ALL things through You, cause You'd give me strength! (Yes, I am often this sassy with my Maker- don't worry, He can handle it).
Me: ...So that means that I can make this cake pretty, so I can get through this and make everyone happy.
Finally, I shut up, and let God get a whisper in.
God: Or you can get through it gracefully, even if you mess up the cake and it's a disaster.
*Insert shock and horror, followed by a deep breath.
Me: Right. CRAP. I really hope that's not the way it's gonna be, though.
I came back downstairs and spent another hour trying out solutions, and after a few attempts, ended up with a very pretty (although not perfect) cake, and a very thankful heart.
"I can do all things, through Christ who strengthens me." Phil 4:13
2 comments:
thanks for sharing, the cake was beautiful.
Sometimes the creative process involves taming our internal dialogue, eh?
I often find that the way I imagine a project will be, and the way it actually turns out, have huge discrepancies....but if I were to be really objective, the project is still fun and functional.
The idea is to enjoy doing one's best through the steps, to make the vision a reality and when changes can no longer be made, be willing to accept the finished project as it is, or frog it *which is what I call ditching a project as a hopeless cause*.
Accepting that a project has become less than what one wanted it to be, and yet still give it, takes a lot of grace! You are grace-full
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