My Compliments

The other day I was entering the Rec Center when, at the same time another woman was leaving through the doors beside me. She looked stunning in a knit cap and scarf. I held my door, swiveled around and told her so. :Hi!" I said. "She smiled. "Hi!" And then.. "You look stunning today!!" She stopped for a split second, "Well, thankyou!", and then I went in, and she went out.

When we got inside, Manny commented to me that that was a nice thing to do. Hmm. I wasn't really thinking of it that way. Just thought she looked beautiful and should know it. Then I got thinking about compliments. I think I give them a lot. But it's never insincere. I know I'm not looking to recieve one back, because even I get kind of uncomfortable when someone compliments me. I know I don't compliment people to butter them up, ever. It's always from the heart. Usually I just say it before I've even thought it through. It's like a giant surprise to me and the complimentee. Maybe I am just programmed to notice beautiful things about people, and it comes out as a compliment.

I stumbled across a web site this morning (intelligent stumbling), and found an article about why people don't take compliments very well. I'll post the link for you, http://www.CherylRainfield.com, but here are some of the main reasons we have trouble accepting a compliment...

!. We are not used to them;

2. We don't feel that we can trust them, because in the past, compliments came just before negative or critical comments;

3. Compliments were used against us, held a hidden expectation, or meant that something was expected of us;

4. We are so used to being put down that that is what we are comfortable with;

5.It feels frightening because, on a deep level, we don't believe that the compliments are true, or that the success is real, or we are afraid that we will still fail and that we then won't deserve the compliment;

6. Our learned reaction is to put ourselves down first, before someone else can hurt us;

7. Compliments may have been used to lull us into a false sense of security before abuse;

8. It may almost hurt to hear something good about ourselves, when we heard so much of the opposite growing up, and didn't get what we needed;

9. We didn't get what we needed growing up, and as a result we greatly need to hear the good things now, but we are afraid to allow ourselves to get what we need, we think we don't deserve it, or we are denying ourselves what we need.

I think it is so sad, that in a world where we are created to have something special and amazing about all of us, that there are so many stumbling blocks to feeling good about ourselves. So, my readers...the moral of the story? Take a hard look at the above list again. Which of them is your reason? And then take a minute, or an hour, or a week, and get over it. Work through it. Harsh, I know, but guess what? YOU ARE AMAZING!!! There are qualities that you have that no one else has- wonderful things that deserve to be complimented. You have a purpose and were created uniquely and with much love.

God bless you all, and have a wonderful day!!

Hugs, Char