This was a forward about raising boys. Totally cracked me up, as I currently have a basement that smells
like the rotten gargabe at the beach,
due to the fact that
my son's live beach snails and shells in water
fell all over the carpet yesterday.
Ugh!!
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...
Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a
Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to
spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times
before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball
hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already
too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though
a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year
old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still
can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do
not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms
dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without
boys do it because:
a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control
like the rotten gargabe at the beach,
due to the fact that
my son's live beach snails and shells in water
fell all over the carpet yesterday.
Ugh!!
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...
Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a
Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to
spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times
before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball
hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already
too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though
a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year
old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still
can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do
not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms
dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without
boys do it because:
a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control
4 comments:
So funny. I already discovered the loud voice thing, Keith loves to be loud loud loud. Something tells me that Dawn could add to this list living with 4 boys!
Glad you are finally feeling better!
Cherylyn
HA HA!
Ya not happened yet but im expecting it anytime now.
HAHAHA! This is so true, for even mothers of only girls...like me. I think my girls are as wild as any boys!
They leave today till Aug 13 on vacation with their dad.
Ter
Very cute hun !
Iov Lo You !
Enjoy P.G. !
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