To Sell or Not to Sell... The problem with a straggler...

Okay, so I always told myself I wouldn't have a 'straggler'. You know, the child who is born years after the others. Family dynamic is slightly messed up in a lot of these families (sorry to any of you that I offend with that opinion), and I wasn't planning to do it to mine.

Then we miscarried. (Que to sad story, where the mother goes through the grieving process after losing much anticipated baby #4, gets extremely angry with God and decides not to risk her heart by 'trying' again.)

Two years and a couple of months later, I looked at my 'baby girl' and couldn't believe how big she was, she had almost outgrown her toddler bed! I walked into my bedroom, asked my hubby if we could have 'just one more baby', and waited to hear him laugh at me. He smiled and said "I wanted another one all along."

And so came the straggler.

My third now has issues. She had almost four years as' the baby', and then was replaced. She loves him, but I have to say I was right in my initial 'screwing up the dynamic' principal! She still behaves like the baby, and may have fared better had she stayed in that very spoiled and indulged role. Lol!!

A.n.y.w.a.y.... The straggler comes with a set of unique challenges. The current one is this: What toys to I keep, and what do I sell, or give away? I've broken away from the sentimantality of it (*ahem, okay, I've tried). The Little People Barn that Avery got when she was a baby, and all three older kids loved, as well as all the tons of Little People stuff that accumulated for the last ten years... they went to a neighbour. Seth doesn't play with them. Well, he didn't play with them until they were in a box to be given away...

Baby blocks... he never looked at them... He plays Lego. The little ones that you are supposed to hide from the 'baby'. He's been using them for years and he's only three.

What about the little kitchen, or the table and chairs made for sweet little people? The big kids have all but outgrown these things, but I don't want to get rid of them if Seth will play with it. And he may not play kitchen much now, but when he watches his daddy cook a wicked stirfry, he may want to be a cook!! Do I then add 'Toy Kitchen' to the Garage Sale list of things to Re-buy??

We live in a townhouse, so space is at a premium. How do I downsize without costing the baby his childhood, and did he really have a childhood at all? He didn't play with baby toys ever. He skipped them. He went from sucking soothers to playing guns. Yes, Guns. His big brother plays guns, and every cracker Seth eats becomes one, every pencil and even his toothbrush can be a gun!

Maybe the childhood isn't about the toys. Maybe the rides on his siblings backs, or sitting next to them, listening to stories being sounded out in wee voices, halting words full of promise and love, maybe the 'never being alone' is the best childhood a kid could ask for.

I know I'm rambling... I'm processing as I write. Do I just get rid of it all? What he doesn't remember won't hurt him? Will he ever say "All I ever wanted was a toy kitchen?" Unlikely.

But maybe the bigger question is whether my heart will survive if I lose all the 'baby' I have left in him, when I finally get rid of those toys...

We'll see, won't we?