So today I had a big fat cry, right in front of my kids.
Why? You ask?
Well, in a matter of a couple of hours I totally lost Gabe's Christmas gift. One minute we had it at the kitchen table, I was showing it to Ryan. It had come in the mail today, and we were inspecting it. After that, my mind is a blank. I vaguely recall thinking that Gabe would be home soon and I better 'put it away'. I guess I hid it real good, cause it is still totally MIA. I looked in the tried and true places where I put things for temporary hiding, but to no avail.
It is gone. I picked through the garbage, and went through the fridge, freezer, and anywhere else I could imagine up. But I can't find it. Avery looked everywhere, and so did Ryan.
It's not the end of the world if it's gone. Gabe will live without it. It's merely a possession, one gift of many that he will receive. I am mildly bothered by the fact that I paid for it, and he would have loved it.
The giant gap in my memory, though, is a concern to me. What in the world? How can I just blank out something like that? Not even a smidge of memory of picking it up and putting it somewhere, or the thought process that went along with that. None. It's frustrating and discouraging. It's been a while since I've been so angry with myself.
Anyway.
I guess I'll just keep looking. For the gift, and my mind.
Finding either one would be a victory. Lol!
It is gone. I picked through the garbage, and went through the fridge, freezer, and anywhere else I could imagine up. But I can't find it. Avery looked everywhere, and so did Ryan.
It's not the end of the world if it's gone. Gabe will live without it. It's merely a possession, one gift of many that he will receive. I am mildly bothered by the fact that I paid for it, and he would have loved it.
The giant gap in my memory, though, is a concern to me. What in the world? How can I just blank out something like that? Not even a smidge of memory of picking it up and putting it somewhere, or the thought process that went along with that. None. It's frustrating and discouraging. It's been a while since I've been so angry with myself.
Anyway.
I guess I'll just keep looking. For the gift, and my mind.
Finding either one would be a victory. Lol!
3 comments:
Can I just say I TOTALLY get what you are saying!! *sigh* Yesterday someone asked me if I'd like to go back to being really young again. (They meant a kid around 6 ish). I was like "NO" right away. Then to myself I was thinking I'd REALLY like to go back to being 30 though. 30 was GREAT. Still had a memory back then. lol I can't believe I'm 36!! When did that happen???!!! Can't wait to have no memory with you in the old age homes one day. If we remember we are friends by then anyway I guess!! lol ;-)
The same thing happened to me this week, Char. I was trying to protect a "What's in the Bible? Christmas" DVD from getting scratched, and I put it somewhere safe. Then, when my daughter was beside herself and really wanting to watch it, I couldn't remember anything to do with where I put it. No memory of my thought processes. No memory of where I would have put it. I got SO angry, and Bob couldn't comprehend why I was SO bothered by it. I was angry because I felt like my mind is always racing in so many different directions that I can't even think straight. I finally went to read my bible (just to get a fresh perspective on things), and there it was in my bible bag. Perhaps God has a sense of humour, or perhaps I actually put it there, but I don't know WHAT I was thinking. . .
I have totally done that and ended up scratching my head and kicking myself in the behind...because I'm talented like that. LOL The last two times I thought I had completely and utterly lost something, I gave myself a really hard time and it ended up being my clepto-kid. Because I'm a good mom like that. **eye roll** So I immediately (and everyone else does too, b/c my scatterbrained ways are famous) assumes it's me. So when it's not it's like "HA!" but no one cares by then...oh well.
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